rain rain go away

The past few weeks have been... frustrating. There have been a lot of little crises, nothing serious enough to be tragic, but enough to be exasperating. And I have felt to complain. I know better. Last weekend we visited my parents, and I heard my dad give a Sunday school lesson.

My dad shared an experience about one of the hardest financial times he and my mom went through. He said how difficult and humiliating it was, but then, after it was (finally) over, how it lead to him getting the job he had for 13 years and the house that I grew up in. That was the life I new in my formative years, and to it I owe who I have become.

A few years ago, I went through a family tragedy that affected me more than I expected. Afterword I struggled in school, and at work, and shortly after marriage I found myself out of school, out of a job, and pretty jaded. It was a really humiliating time for me, and honestly I was scared. However I ended up getting the job I have now, that has given me the opportunity for immense growth and has been one of the best things that has happened to me in my life. I never would have found this job if I had kept working and plugging away at school "like I was supposed to."

Sometimes God takes the helm, and throws the wheel for a few spins... It can feel like we are careening out of control, but he knows what he is doing.

After both our cars breaking in the same week, as the borrowed suburban sputtered to a stop on the side of the freeway (It was only out of gas, and luckily thankfully we were very close to a gas station) I couldn't help think of Job. Not that I compare at all what happened to us to what happened to him, but the problems seemed warrantless, and came so fast and close together it seems impossible it was happenstance. I knew then that I didn't have Job's patience, and I was reminded again how much worse things could be, and how blessed (overall) we really are.

Today, I'm thinking of Joseph in the Old Testament. I'm sure that he felt--or at least he had cause to feel that he had been abandoned. Thrown in a pit the same day that a band of slave traders came by... it was almost like God wanted him to be sold into slavery... Now we have the luxury of knowing the end from the beginning, but I bet it was pretty awful for Joseph at the time.

I do have faith that good can come of this... that God can come of this... I'm afraid I haven't been patient or faithful.

I think the ideal is that we gain so much faith in God, that we will spin off course ourselves. If of course it is the way God intends us to go. I am always amazed at the faith of Moses. He started as a man of great power in Egypt, but he felt inspired to abandon that (in the process burning many bridges that would have been invaluable later in his life). He lowered himself to a slave, then was told to free all of the slaves. He conceivably could have done that while he was in the Pharaoh's favor, but without that power the task seemed herculean. When he finally had freed his people, he was directed to lead a multitude of men, women, children, elderly and all of their cattle and possessions, to flee from an army on chariots. Moses followed God's direction straight to the edge of the sea... with no boats, no retreat, no chance of outrunning or out maneuvering their pursuers. He was a prophet he could have known what God had planned, but I believe that he was like Nephi "Led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand"

I don't think God wanted us chasing down wildlife in the car or anything, but maybe when things start going bad, and I am doing what I am supposed to, instead of saying "Why me" I should say "What am I missing?" and start packing for a trip to the Red Sea.

10 Virgins

A few things about the parable of the ten virgins has always felt a little enigmatic to me. I understand the correlation between oil and spiritual preparedness, but the parable itself seemed to have some incongruities.

While it is clear that faith, testimony and obedience are not things that can be divvied out hap-hazardly, I wondered why in the context of the story the five wise virgins were unable to share their oil with the foolish five. Since the wedding feasts were typically celebrated at night, the guest’s lamps would have provided the lighting for the occasion, and it would be prudent to bring enough oil to last the whole night long. That would then demonstrate the foolish five’s short sightedness. Not only were they unprepared to wait for the bridegroom, but they were entirely unprepared for the wedding itself.

It also seemed harsh that the bridegroom would not open the door for his tardy friends. As I tried to picture myself there, I imagined a dark and empty street contrasted with the light and noise of the marriage. After the guests are in and the door is shut, a group arrives obscured in the shadows and barely audible over the din crying “Lord, open to us” _{–Matthew 25:11} When the groom replies “I know you not” _{–verse 12} He is not denouncing their friendship, but saying, “I don’t know that you are who you say you are. I can’t recognize you in the dark against the noise of the party. I can’t let you in lest you be an enemy” When the Joseph Smith translation uses the phrase, “Ye know me not,” that takes it a step further. “I can’t trust you. If you knew me you would have known to watch for me and been told of my coming, you would have been ready to join the procession and have entered with me.”

If we are to know Christ, to join His entourage and celebrate with Him, we must be prepared. If we are to pass through the gate where He “employeth no servant” _{– 2 Nephi 9:41} we must be able to hold up our light so that He can look into our faces and welcome us with a smile.

Calling

To round up the New Testament class I have been in, I wrote a paper. I used much of the material from this blog in the paper, so I thought it only fair that I use some elements in the paper on the blog.

In the Luke 5 account of the calling of Peter, previously I had focused almost entirely on the story—the prophetic knowledge of the Savior and the over-abundance of fish. This time however I tried to see what Peter saw that led him to follow Christ. Peter had just experienced a long, unfruitful, and probably frustrating day. To add insult to injury, a great deal of work still had to be done although they had worked into the night and caught no fish. While Peter is about this business, which he surely would simply like to quickly finish and leave, a stranger comes and asks him to cease his work, launch his boat, and wait for Him to deliver a sermon. Peter complies. That speaks volumes about the character of Peter and helps me understand part of why Jesus chose him as an apostle and later successor. The rest of the story speaks volumes of Christ.

Helping Jesus seemed the worst thing a fisherman could have done. From a professional standpoint Peter should have quickly finished his work, and retired home to plan for the next day. His time would have been well spent studying charts or the weather, and getting as much rest as possible to start the next day early and with energy. Peter however chose to help another, and for that Jesus blessed him. After Peter had shown that he was willing to sacrifice for his fellow men, after Peter had given of his talents, possessions, and his time (perhaps a tithe of his day) the Savior followed the pattern of the Lord’s promise in Malachi: “prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” _{–Malachi 3:5} Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to prove, to test, the Savior. When Peter exercised his faith in Jesus’ words, (again against ‘professional’ wisdom) Christ gave him a blessing so copious that there literally was not room to receive it all. There were more fish than his, and his partner’s, boats were designed to carry. Then Jesus invited him to leave his prize and follow Him. Peter (and his brother) Straightway left their nets, Forsook all, and followed him.

Peter obviously was capable of seeing things on a higher plane. Peter recognized that what the Savior had to offer was so much more important than the small fortune of fish he had caught, more important than the livelihood that he had chosen for himself and his family, more important than his home, possessions and friendship bonds. I hope that as I come to know Christ, I can see beyond the moment, beyond the fish or wealth or whatever is in front of me, and I can choose the better part like Peter did.

Christ’s method for calling His disciples was simple. There was no pomp or ceremony. Often it was three words of simple invitation, “Come follow me.” Christ did not promise wealth or power, in fact, in this case He did the opposite. He called Peter and John to leave their bounteous catch. Our call to follow Christ will likewise be subtle. Some calls come from private interviews with Priesthood leaders, other calls come as quiet whispers from the spirit calling us to action. Sometimes our invitation will be nothing more than an increased resolve to be righteous, strong and just. It is up to us to follow. We would do well to follow the example of Peter, straightway forsaking all and following Him.