Sacrament

I noticed today something about the way the sacrament is prepared and administered. 

It has always seemed very pragmatic that the bread is passed first, since the priests have time to break the bread while the congregation sings. 

But thinking about it today I remembered helping set up the sacrament, and the water actually takes a lot more effort to prepare but it is all done in advance. 

In my mind, I tend to think about the bread as the physical and the water as the spiritual. So playing on that metaphor, it seems that spiritual preparation takes more time and work than physical preparation. The physical demands we have, with a minimum of advance planning, can largely be dealt with in the moment. (Singing a hymn might help) However, once those efforts are exhausted, you can 'uncover' what appears to be a backup supply of spiritual strength. But only if you have put in sufficient effort in beforehand. 

-Update April 2022-

I forgot I had written that (not surprising, it was 2014).  My recent 'epiphany' about the sacrament was different.

I was thinking about it in a more Jordan Peterson-esque way.  We don't believe that the bread and water are literally the body of Christ, so what is it that we are doing?    

Maybe we are ritualistically trying to take a piece of God into us.  That seems to make sense.  

So what about the bread and water.  The bread.. we have to chew on it a little.  We need to do some work to digest it and to extract the nutrients or value from it.  That's the body.  His body. That's the things he did as recorded in the scriptures and the things we should do to try to be like Him.

The water, on the other hand, flows into us.  Nature itself (via osmosis) will help to fill and rejuvenate us and to quench our thirst.  That's the spirit.  There isn't specific work, we just have to be open to it and allow it to flow into us.

What kind of a prophet

  I think the details of the restoration would have been significantly different if Joseph Smith had been born in a different place (and/or time).  Joseph Smith was primed to believe in seer stones, divining rods, ancient buried treasure, and dramatic manifestations of the spirit.  That was how he recognized the supernatural and the divine, and that’s (largely) the way the restoration unfolded.  

But I don’t think that’s how the restoration had to unfold.  I think God met him where he was, instead of bringing him to some universal, proper way to find God.  

Moses found God in … unnatural nature?  Burning bushes, pillars of clouds and fire, plagues and manna and parting the Red Sea.  Lamoni and his people found God in communal fainting.  Lehi and Nephi had elaborate visions, but Samuel heard an audible voice that woke him from sleep.  If Joseph Smith was born somewhere else, could the restoration have involved sweat huts and psychedelics?  

That takes my mind to two different places.  First of all, I wonder if we aren’t too homogenous in what the culture of the church recognizes (expects?) as manifestations of the Spirit or ways to find God.  Even things like speaking in tongues, which was a big part of early church history, isn’t really a part of the currently culturally accepted forms of spirituality.  And in a way, that makes sense to me.  I’ve lived essentially my whole life in the cultural headquarters of the church, so I tend to naturally agree with the more subdued, introspective, personal manifestations of the spirit.  Even if I find more dramatic things–like stories of healings– compelling, if I saw someone speaking in tongues, casting out devils, or describing their visions, it would at least give me pause.  

I think that’s probably wrong.  

Especially with the diversity of the current church, I think it is likely that God speaks to his children, and specifically members of the church, in lots of ways that look unfamiliar to me, but very familiar to them.  

The second thing I think about, is the kinds of prophets God puts in charge of his church.  I’ve always sort of thought that prophets are prophets, but now I wonder if there isn’t significantly more to their specific differences.  Elijah seems to have been something like a warrior-prophet.  After calling down fire to prove the superiority of Jehovah versus Ba’al, he killed 450 priests of Ba’al.  That’s not something we’d expect from modern prophets, but maybe that was necessary there and then.  Joseph (of Egypt) and Moses could maybe be described as administrator-prophets, and that was important for God’s people they were called to lead.  Brigham Young was sort of an industrialist-prophet.  We have several examples of king-prophets, and maybe Lehi could be described as a navigator-prophet (which makes the Liahona very apropos).  I’m going to have to think about how to hyphenate all the other prophets as I study about them.  

Which brings me to current church leadership.  Recently we’ve had some diplomat-prophets, and publisher-prophets.  That seems right for growing a global church.  Our current prophet was trained as a doctor, and given the current state of pandemics and opioids and mental health issues we have, a physician-prophet seems…  inspired.  

So then, in the future… Of the longest serving members in the Quorum of the Twelve, we have several doctors and educators, but of course, next up… is the judge.

I believe in angels

I believe in three kinds of angels.  There are the messenger angels like Gabriel and Moroni that appear to select people.  Joseph and Mary, Joseph Smith, even Alma and Saul received visits from celestial beings who show unequivocally that God loves us.

The second kind of angels are the ones we don't see.  They are our guardian angels.  They are around and among us, unseen and unappreciated.  The Doctrine and Covenants confirms it, and Elija's servant was given a glimpse.  God sends them to us when we need them for support, for aid, for help and for protection. I'm certain that they carry me--more than I want to admit.

But the angels I've been thinking of lately are the kind that live in my neighborhood.  The angels who leave gifts on the doorstep or in the mail.  The angels who help watch our children and help take care of our home.  even though they are just regular people, I believe that they are angels in the truest sense of the word.  As they serve, they put off the natural man. What is left is a celestial beings doing the work of God.  They also support, aid, help and protect.  They are, at least to me, the personification of God's love.

I don't know what we would do without them, and I am grateful for them.

Cobwebs in the corners

So I know that I haven't posted consistently, and I realized that I have a lot of mostly finished posts saved as drafts... I have been using the drafts as sort of sounding boards, but I haven't ever polished them up. I think I'll just go ahead and post them anyway.

Stand still, that I may reason with you

Now therefore stand still, that I may ^areason with you before the Lord 1 Samuel 12:7

That is interesting. It isn't often that the prophets come to us with an appeal to logos. don't know that I have really paid attention to recent times when leaders try to teach us with logic, well, I guess there are commandments that seem obvious when you think about them like not killing or stealing, self reliance, food storage etc. but in this case he does try to reason with them. Samuel reminds Israel of their history, the times and ways that God has preserved and blessed them, then he calls down a miracle to prove how displeased God is with their current decision (to demand a king).

Why didn't Samuel use a more 'spiritual' approach? More--ethos and pathos? I wonder if it isn't because the people were beyond that. They had been prospered, and they had forgotten God. I don't think they had turned away necessarily, but they didn't feel that they needed him. They were still asking the prophet to give them a king, but Samuel said, "The Lord your God was your king" and he should have been. As I look through recent instruction, I'm going to try to pay attention to if, when and how current prophets use reasoning to teach.

"Stand still" For some reason, that strikes me as powerful. "Be still and know that I am God." How often do we stand still? I personally find it uncomfortable, and I start reaching for my phone, computer, TV remote, book, radio... anything.

Every once in a while I get ambitious and I write a "Still List." I take a piece of paper (lately digital paper) and I write at the top "I still..." And I just wait for the flood. I still need to register for classes, I still havn't returned that movie. I still haven't ordered that part. I still need to do my home teaching. I still need to call my old friend. It is scary how quickly my list grows. (when I get really ambitious, I try to start crossing things off that list :))

Now I know that the scripture doesn't actually mean my kind of still, but maybe that is why it impresses me so strongly. In that context, being still also means taking time to evaluate my priorities, to be on top of things, and to make a sort of self accounting for my responsibilities. I don't think any of those are a bad thing.

the whole armor

I know it has been done a lot, but we talked this Sunday about putting on the armor of God.

I still feel that the most touching, the most heart-wrenching part of the scripture is that we put on the armor that we can "withstand the evil day, having done all, that [we] may be able to stand." I know that there are a lot of important times in our lives when we stand, and I believe that there is probably a deeper meaning in that. But I think of it quite literally and recall times in my life when it was all I could do--in fact it was more than I alone could do and I needed God's help--just to stand. I think that for some of us, and maybe for all of us, when all said and done, the best we can hope for is 'to stand,' and we will know that it is with His help only.

When I think of armor, I actually first imagine medieval armor, and I have to try to force myself to think of period armor... I guess like Roman soldiers

"Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth,"

Truth. Loins. Girt? The imagery I get from that is a belt. I think that girding your loins has a direct connection to the law of chastity, but I think that it also key that your belt surrounds the core of your body, and it holds your weapons and provisions. I think that we need to surround ourselves with truth. It should surround the core of who we are, and we shouldn't ever side-step or back pedal from the truth. If we do so, it will hold things together and support us in our lives.

"Having on the breastplate of righteousness"

Your breastplate protects all of your vital organs, it is the most prominent piece of armor and can be used to distinguish you from your enemies, and even show information about your rank and position. I have heard that in Jesus' day they believed that your thoughts came from your heart, and your emotions came from your bowels, so that would encompass all you think and feel. Righteousness will keep your thoughts and your emotions from becoming tainted. In the most heated of battles you may still be bruised and wounded, but your lifeforce is protected by your righteousness.

"And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace"

I think that this is one of my favorite images. Preparation equals shoes. Your feet are the obvious from of transportation, they are the means of progression. Think of trying to walk through your own backyard barefoot. Can you imagine a battle? When we are barefoot our progress is ginger, cautious, we may take large detours to avoid uncertain terrain and much slower than our potential. When we are unprepared we don't know how to proceed. We test our footing, second guess our approach, and move as on eggshells.

"Above all, taking the shield of faith"

Faith is our protection. When "fiery darts" come at us, whether they be doubts, fears, trials, sins or whatever we can use our faith do deflect them. If we have faith in prayer, we can deal with some times when our prayers appear to have gone unanswered. If we have faith in our leaders, we can just faithfully fulfill assignments as Adam did when he offered sacrifices. Now those darts could also be absorbed by our breastplate, helmet and shoes (and sometimes they will have to be) but faith is our first line of defense and can take the brunt of an attack, while leaving our righteousness, preparation, and understanding of truth remain relatively unhindered. And pure faith can make up for the weaknesses we have or gain.

"And take the helmet of salvation"

As noted above, they didn't really believe that they needed their heads for thinking. Of course they knew that it was vital, but I think that they saw it more in terms of the eyes and the ears, the mouth. Through your eyes and ears you find out about all of your surroundings and identify goals. Your head also directs the rest of your body. So protecting your head with salvation means that you will always have that as your goal. If your head is turned towards salvation, the rest of the body will follow.

"And the sword of the Spirit"

This is when you take the offensive. Actually swords can be used defensively too, but the Spirit is what will make changes in the lives of others. We shouldn't try to overcome people with our righteousness, with our salvation, or with our truth. We should let the Spirit touch the hearts of others. It can and will protect us from the most immediate blows of adversity, but it will be key in making changes with anyone else.

The end from the beginning

It is easy to know the beginning from the end, we can almost always (whether we like it or not) see the progression that brought us to the point where we are, however it is a much different thing to know the end from the beginning.

I thought of an analogy--I had a roommate once who was doing some handyman work and asked me to help him replace some shingles on a small roof over an entryway. He was already on the roof when I got there, and I had to climb a sloped sidewalk to the front entryway. As I started up the slope, I could see him on the roof, and I knew that was the direction I was heading, but I couldn't see the path that would take me there, except for a few steps in front of me.

Once I arrived at the door, I could clearly see the sidewalk, extending all the way to the front of the property. What I think is interesting is that my roommate, from his vantage point could see the whole yard, from his elevated position, he could see the end from the beginning.

Obviously walking up someone's front lawn is trivial, but as we journey through life, we probably won't be able to see our ends from our beginnings. However, we can follow those who have gone before, we can see at least a bit of the path that lies before us, and if we focus on and listen to Those who sit on high, They will direct us to Them.

8 ¶ For my ^athoughts are not ^byour thoughts, neither are your ^cways my ^dways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ^aways ^bhigher than your ways, and my ^cthoughts than your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:8,9

What I learned in primary today:

We taught a six and seven year-old Sunday school class today about the atonement. Part of the lesson is about Alma's repentance, and the lesson brings up a point that I never really thought about before. It says that Alma was forgiven because the savior would later atone for his sins. I started thinking that it would require a whole different kind of faith to take advantage of an atonement that was still yet to happen. We have very powerful and dramatic stories and images to fix on as we ponder and apply the atonement, that might make it easier to understand and accept.

Not to oversimplify, but I tend to think of the atonement in two parts, repenting of our sins, and healing our hearts. When we sin, I think that we experience, even if only "in the least degree" the consequences of our sins, so we have a reference as to what the savior...in any time... would have had to suffer for us, however I think that the healing applications of the atonement would be more difficult to accept.

Think of the ammonites' agony as they think on the murders they committed. How hard would it be to forgive yourself of sins for which you cannot make amends. How would you console yourself with only the assurance that someday, someone, somehow could make that right.

Imagine the angst of a parent who lost a child. It would be so hard to think that anyone could understand their suffering, let alone offer any healing.

The image of God suffering so greatly, that even with an angel at His side He still sweat great drops of blood... when we learn of the brutality of Christ's last few hours on earth and are taught that the physical pain He endured was insignificant compared to His spiritual suffering, I think we obtain that reference and our minds can accept that He has suffered enough that He does have the tools to heal our wounds, to comfort our souls.

Before Christ came the faithful did not have that. I wonder if they didn't have much purer faith than I have, and a much stronger relationship with their Savior. I think at least I am guilty of losing sight of the gratitude I should have that we are living in the fullness of times. I always associated that with priesthoods and ordinances, but I forget what a gift it is to have a fullness of scripture, of knowledge and what a rich legacy we have from millennia of prophets.

God's hand

In Sunday school the teacher accidentally gave out the wrong scripture reference, and I ended up on a page that was slightly out of the lesson. I noticed a passage I had marked while on my mission, and I started thinking about it.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

That has always surprised me. In Nothing doth man offend God more than when we do not confess His hand in all things. It seems like there is so much more we could do that would be so much worse, but I think that since our purpose here is to learn to be like God. Our best chance to do that is to learn who he is and what he does. It can be so difficult to see God's hand in all things. They stopped carrying our favorite salad dressing at Costco; how is God's hand in that? On a bit grander scale, I think we tend to see God in the good things in life, and we blame man for the bad, but I don't think that is fair either. Where is God's hand in a terrorist attack or a high school shooting?

"This is life eternal, to know thee the only true God..." I think in order to gain eternal life, we will need to see God's hand in the mundane and the ordinary. Some get promoted, others get laid off. I don't think we can make blanket statements about how Divine influence affects business, but through the microscope of our own lives, we should be able to see His fingerprints at the scene. I know that one job that I lost directly set me up for where I am now. There was a promotion that I fought for that I am convinced I couldn't do without His help, and the times when I have had to rely on Him has brought me closer to Him.

Often people talk about children growing up being dependent on their parents' testimonies. Lately I have found my thoughts lingering each time someone makes that sort of a reference... I might be misunderstanding their meaning, but it kind of seems that they are discrediting youthful testimonies.

Sometimes almost sounds as if when we grow up we have to stop believing our parents in order to gain a real testimony. I guess that could be true if we simply accept what our parents say and never recognize the spiritual confirmations...or if we don't believe, and we simply go through the motions of membership because of our parents.

As our parents teach us correct principles, the spirit will confirm the truth of what they teach. That will create a real, if simple testimony that has just as much power to direct our lives as a more 'mature' testimony.

For instance, as a young child, I'm sure I didn't understand the principle of tithing. But my parents taught me to set aside a tenth (I'm sure they helped me with the math as well) and I still remember bringing my tithing ($2.87 or whatever it was) to annual tithing settlement with my family. Before I could possibly understand the etymology of the words, I knew that paying my tithing to the bishop made me happy. From that fundamental base, very little has changed.

At some point, I payed my tithing simply because my parents told me to. Eventually I paid my tithing as an expression of gratitude for the blessings I have received and as a contribution toward building and maintaining the physical facilities etc. of the church. Always however I have paid my tithing because I thought it was right and I felt joy in obedience.

I don't believe that we have to abandon, or even question the faith and testimonies of our parents, the Sons of Helaman said, "We do not doubt our mothers knew it" and they demonstrated enormous faith. However, there does have to be a shift--not of faith, but of the source of truth. Initially gospel instruction will come primarily from our parents (as will most information) but as we mature, it will move to scriptures, prophets, inspiration from the spirit and regardless of the source we should come to realize when their teachings stand on their own merit.

Maybe it has been in my head so much because I have become a parent and now for someone I am that first source of truth.

What I now think is important is not just to teach truth--we should be doing that anyway, but we need to help those we teach develop their own testimony early on and recognize the manifestations of the spirit in their lives, so that they don't end up having a spiritual crisis later in their life.

Laman was short

It's been a while since I wrote here. I think I have said that I mostly use my blogs as a way to clear my head, and I got stuck on a concept that I couldn't "clear out" usually when that happens I just have a half-done draft and I can forget about it... but instead it sort-of just drove me away. Anyway, I was talking to a new friend and I remembered one of my long lost thoughts.

Sometimes Laman in Nephi's story seems so unreasonable, it is hard to come to any kind of an understanding. I wonder if that might be because we want to idealize anything in the scriptures. here's my theory.

First, Nephi was big. I think he was really big. He seems to throw in how big he is at unusual times in his narrative. "I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless I was HUGE, and also having great desires to know the mysteries of God..." (Ok, a little artistic license) "And now I, Nephi, being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord, therefore I did seize upon the servant of Laban" --I was really big, oh... and the lord helped me... tackle Zoram.

Now that seems to fit with our common conception of Book of Mormon heroes. Some of the most popular depictions of them show these strapping, clean shaven, tan, muscular, tall, archetypes of heroes. And I don't necessarily doubt that, but what if Laman was really short? Short enough to develop the so-called "short man syndrome"?

To me, that explains a lot about Laman's behavior. If the size difference between him and Nephi was enough to constitute a complex, it would make sense why he was always so defensive about Nephi taking any kind of leadership roles, why he just couldn't accept any criticism from Nephi, and even why he may have needed to use a stick to beat Nephi.

Think of how much we have learned (recently) about how the mind works. If you didn't know about schizophrenia, Tourette's syndrome, Alzheimer's, multiple personality disorder, clinical depression... how would you describe the symptoms? It would seem that these people were possessed. I think that King Saul had bipolar disorder... that is the only thing to me that makes sense. So maybe sometimes when the scriptures say that someone cast out a devil, it could more appropriately say that they healed a schizophrenic?

I wonder how many of our demons will turn out to be something that can be easily treated in the future? Maybe the "addictive personality" eventually will turn out to be an imbalance of dopamine in the amigdala or something.

Anyway, worth a thought no?

Which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor

In Ether Chapter 12 it says:

Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

I really like the idea of hope as an anchor, I think the imagery is very powerful. I haven't been in real boats... just canoes and powerboats, so I may have some of the details wrong... you'll just have to forgive me.

First of all, when you are anchored, you will still have all of the ups and downs of life. An anchored ship still rises and falls with the tide, and with each wave. In a bad storm it can still take a beating. In our lives, hope alone isn't enough to protect us from troubles, pain or suffering. Nor will it keep us from spiritual wandering, but it can keep us close to our beliefs, and when we reach the "end of our chain" it will pull us back towards the place we found safety.

While the anchor does keep the ship tethered to the same point, the ship itself can actually move around that tether. I would assume that during low tide, the ship can wander farther than usual due to the extra slack in the chain/rope to which the anchor is connected. In the darkest times of our lives, when we reach our lowest points, we may find ourselves far from where we started, but the hope that we have can draw us back and as we draw on that hope, we can bring ourselves back to safety.

Anchors work best in a safe harbor. Dropping an anchor in the deep ocean in the middle of a storm will do little if any good. The anchor has a pre-determined depth (the length of the chain) where it will work. If you are deeper than the anchor can reach, it cannot find a foundation where it can secure you. If we only try to hope... to exercise our hope when we are already in trouble, the hope may not be enough to save us. There is a saying that there is no such thing as a Athiest in a foxhole, however if you wait till you are in a foxhole to hope that there is a God, it would be difficult for that hope to motivate your life, nor would it offer as much comfort as someone who had tried and experienced the stability and strength that comes from living a christian life.

An anchor isn't a mooring, it is not impossible for the ship to move. It is more difficult, but the ship could feasibly drag the anchor across the ocean floor. Hope isn't enough to guarantee that we will never stray too far. If we have that hope for a better world, but we let whatever winds prevail drive us... we might end up so far from that better world that we can no longer see it.

Personal Covenants

One of things that I love about the gospel is how personal it is. Of course there are commandments that we all must keep, but at some point we become like the young rich man who asked Christ "What lack I yet?" --he was given the opportunity to make a covenant of righteousness that wasn't necessarily asked of anyone else. Immediately the gospel became intimate. I think there are many reasons why we make personal covenants. In the story of the Ammonites, their personal covenants came of repentance.

"And now behold, I have somewhat to say concerning the people of Ammon, who, in the beginning, were Lamanites; but ... they had been converted ... They had taken an oath that they never would shed blood more;" -Alma 53:10-11

The powerful, familiar story follows that they were willing to literally lay down and die to preserve the covenant. Here is what the Amonites considered worse than death:

"We have been convinced of our sins, and of the many murders which we have committed. ... since it has been all that we could do ... to repent of all our sins ... and to get God to take them away from our hearts ... let us retain our swords that they be not stained with the blood of our brethren; for perhaps, if we should stain our swords again they can no more be washed bright" -Alma 24:9-13

(Emphasis mine) The amonites were raised as a violent and bloody people. They were warmongers and cruel, "bloodthirsty." It was a deep part of their culture and their identity. When they repented they abandoned all of that, and they could not return--at any cost. Even when the war was just and righteous, they could not participate. I think the reason is that if they did return to war, even with the right intentions, the habits and tendencies of the past would come back too strong and they would become lost to bloodlust and hatred.

Sometimes when we repent there are things that others can do that we can never do again. There may be movies that we cannot see, events that we cannot attend, or places that we cannot be. Situations that may otherwise be benign we must consider perilous. A former alcoholic is forever a "recovering" alcoholic because just a taste can recreate their addiction.

It must have been heartwrenching to see Nephites dying at the hands of their former brethren in their defense.

"But it came to pass that when they saw the danger, and the many afflictions and tribulations which the Nephites bore for them, they were moved with compassion and were desirous to take up arms in the defence of their country. ... And Helaman feared lest by so doing they should lose their souls" -Alma 53:13-15

The Nephites were willing to die so the Amonites wouldn't break their covenant. I'm afraid I fall far short of that. I realized that we have an obligation to support and help others keep, not just the formal covenants, but also personal covenants of righteousness. I think sometimes it is easy to think that someone is being self righteous, 'pious' or over zealous when their rules seem 'above and beyond' established doctrine. I can be opinionated and I fear I may have used my standard to determine the appropriateness of other peoples actions. I may have even tried to convince others to do something they are not comfortable with, because I am. I sorrow at the thought. The next time when someone has a higher standard of Sabbath Day obsevances, entertainment choices, dress standards, spending habits or whatever it may be, I hope they can count on me to be like the Nephites who said: "We will set our armies between ... that we may protect our brethren." -Alma 27/23

Protected by armor

Moroni has his troops wear armor into battle, when the lamanites wore none. The nephites were overwhelmingly protected. In theory that seems so obvious, however in practice, there would be cause for deep reservation. The armor would have been heavy, restrictive and hot. They would have fatigued much sooner, would have been slower, more awkward, and had difficulty maneuvering. The style of fighting at the time was unencumbered, it was what they were good at, and the lamanites could have litterally ran circles around them. It sounded good, but pragmatically it could have set them up for defeat.

The important thing was that their leader commanded it, they obeyed, and they were blessed.

On my mission there were many rules that sounded good, but had some practical limitations. For example we were asked to speak only the mission language. At first it seems obvious that speaking a language all the time will make you better, but in some cases, it could actually make it worse...Most of the missionaries in my mission were american. In many cases we reinforced our own bad accents and grammar--instead of hearing primarily natives speaking the language, when we were inundated with other people making the same mistakes we were prone to make, they started to sound correct. It also threw a huge burden on top of an already heavy load. It was really difficult to have two people trying to work together unable to effectively communicate because of an artificial limitation. It can be incredibly isolating, especially for new missionaries. And it is tiring because progress comes so slowly and there is virtually no repreive.

However, when our Mission president asked, I found myself saying "Esta bem" ("OK") To my suprise, my concerns, which I still think are valid seemed irrelevant, I just wanted to obey.

There are many things that we hear that sound good, but can be hard to embrace in practice. Food storage, Tithes and offerings, missionary work, family history etc. etc. I'm sure each one of us can think of several things we don't do as well as we should, and all of the reasons why.

Obviously we are blessed when we are obedient, and it is a worthy challenge to overcome all of our excuses, becoming more obedient. One thing I think is notable however is that at least two battles were avoided completely because of the nephites preparation. When the Lamanites first saw the armored nephites, they ran in fear. Later Moroni fortified a city and when the Lamanites arrived, they "Durst not attack,""therefore they retreated"

What if just because we have food storage, the devourer is rebuked, and we never need to use it.

rain rain go away

The past few weeks have been... frustrating. There have been a lot of little crises, nothing serious enough to be tragic, but enough to be exasperating. And I have felt to complain. I know better. Last weekend we visited my parents, and I heard my dad give a Sunday school lesson.

My dad shared an experience about one of the hardest financial times he and my mom went through. He said how difficult and humiliating it was, but then, after it was (finally) over, how it lead to him getting the job he had for 13 years and the house that I grew up in. That was the life I new in my formative years, and to it I owe who I have become.

A few years ago, I went through a family tragedy that affected me more than I expected. Afterword I struggled in school, and at work, and shortly after marriage I found myself out of school, out of a job, and pretty jaded. It was a really humiliating time for me, and honestly I was scared. However I ended up getting the job I have now, that has given me the opportunity for immense growth and has been one of the best things that has happened to me in my life. I never would have found this job if I had kept working and plugging away at school "like I was supposed to."

Sometimes God takes the helm, and throws the wheel for a few spins... It can feel like we are careening out of control, but he knows what he is doing.

After both our cars breaking in the same week, as the borrowed suburban sputtered to a stop on the side of the freeway (It was only out of gas, and luckily thankfully we were very close to a gas station) I couldn't help think of Job. Not that I compare at all what happened to us to what happened to him, but the problems seemed warrantless, and came so fast and close together it seems impossible it was happenstance. I knew then that I didn't have Job's patience, and I was reminded again how much worse things could be, and how blessed (overall) we really are.

Today, I'm thinking of Joseph in the Old Testament. I'm sure that he felt--or at least he had cause to feel that he had been abandoned. Thrown in a pit the same day that a band of slave traders came by... it was almost like God wanted him to be sold into slavery... Now we have the luxury of knowing the end from the beginning, but I bet it was pretty awful for Joseph at the time.

I do have faith that good can come of this... that God can come of this... I'm afraid I haven't been patient or faithful.

I think the ideal is that we gain so much faith in God, that we will spin off course ourselves. If of course it is the way God intends us to go. I am always amazed at the faith of Moses. He started as a man of great power in Egypt, but he felt inspired to abandon that (in the process burning many bridges that would have been invaluable later in his life). He lowered himself to a slave, then was told to free all of the slaves. He conceivably could have done that while he was in the Pharaoh's favor, but without that power the task seemed herculean. When he finally had freed his people, he was directed to lead a multitude of men, women, children, elderly and all of their cattle and possessions, to flee from an army on chariots. Moses followed God's direction straight to the edge of the sea... with no boats, no retreat, no chance of outrunning or out maneuvering their pursuers. He was a prophet he could have known what God had planned, but I believe that he was like Nephi "Led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand"

I don't think God wanted us chasing down wildlife in the car or anything, but maybe when things start going bad, and I am doing what I am supposed to, instead of saying "Why me" I should say "What am I missing?" and start packing for a trip to the Red Sea.

10 Virgins

A few things about the parable of the ten virgins has always felt a little enigmatic to me. I understand the correlation between oil and spiritual preparedness, but the parable itself seemed to have some incongruities.

While it is clear that faith, testimony and obedience are not things that can be divvied out hap-hazardly, I wondered why in the context of the story the five wise virgins were unable to share their oil with the foolish five. Since the wedding feasts were typically celebrated at night, the guest’s lamps would have provided the lighting for the occasion, and it would be prudent to bring enough oil to last the whole night long. That would then demonstrate the foolish five’s short sightedness. Not only were they unprepared to wait for the bridegroom, but they were entirely unprepared for the wedding itself.

It also seemed harsh that the bridegroom would not open the door for his tardy friends. As I tried to picture myself there, I imagined a dark and empty street contrasted with the light and noise of the marriage. After the guests are in and the door is shut, a group arrives obscured in the shadows and barely audible over the din crying “Lord, open to us” _{–Matthew 25:11} When the groom replies “I know you not” _{–verse 12} He is not denouncing their friendship, but saying, “I don’t know that you are who you say you are. I can’t recognize you in the dark against the noise of the party. I can’t let you in lest you be an enemy” When the Joseph Smith translation uses the phrase, “Ye know me not,” that takes it a step further. “I can’t trust you. If you knew me you would have known to watch for me and been told of my coming, you would have been ready to join the procession and have entered with me.”

If we are to know Christ, to join His entourage and celebrate with Him, we must be prepared. If we are to pass through the gate where He “employeth no servant” _{– 2 Nephi 9:41} we must be able to hold up our light so that He can look into our faces and welcome us with a smile.

Calling

To round up the New Testament class I have been in, I wrote a paper. I used much of the material from this blog in the paper, so I thought it only fair that I use some elements in the paper on the blog.

In the Luke 5 account of the calling of Peter, previously I had focused almost entirely on the story—the prophetic knowledge of the Savior and the over-abundance of fish. This time however I tried to see what Peter saw that led him to follow Christ. Peter had just experienced a long, unfruitful, and probably frustrating day. To add insult to injury, a great deal of work still had to be done although they had worked into the night and caught no fish. While Peter is about this business, which he surely would simply like to quickly finish and leave, a stranger comes and asks him to cease his work, launch his boat, and wait for Him to deliver a sermon. Peter complies. That speaks volumes about the character of Peter and helps me understand part of why Jesus chose him as an apostle and later successor. The rest of the story speaks volumes of Christ.

Helping Jesus seemed the worst thing a fisherman could have done. From a professional standpoint Peter should have quickly finished his work, and retired home to plan for the next day. His time would have been well spent studying charts or the weather, and getting as much rest as possible to start the next day early and with energy. Peter however chose to help another, and for that Jesus blessed him. After Peter had shown that he was willing to sacrifice for his fellow men, after Peter had given of his talents, possessions, and his time (perhaps a tithe of his day) the Savior followed the pattern of the Lord’s promise in Malachi: “prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” _{–Malachi 3:5} Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to prove, to test, the Savior. When Peter exercised his faith in Jesus’ words, (again against ‘professional’ wisdom) Christ gave him a blessing so copious that there literally was not room to receive it all. There were more fish than his, and his partner’s, boats were designed to carry. Then Jesus invited him to leave his prize and follow Him. Peter (and his brother) Straightway left their nets, Forsook all, and followed him.

Peter obviously was capable of seeing things on a higher plane. Peter recognized that what the Savior had to offer was so much more important than the small fortune of fish he had caught, more important than the livelihood that he had chosen for himself and his family, more important than his home, possessions and friendship bonds. I hope that as I come to know Christ, I can see beyond the moment, beyond the fish or wealth or whatever is in front of me, and I can choose the better part like Peter did.

Christ’s method for calling His disciples was simple. There was no pomp or ceremony. Often it was three words of simple invitation, “Come follow me.” Christ did not promise wealth or power, in fact, in this case He did the opposite. He called Peter and John to leave their bounteous catch. Our call to follow Christ will likewise be subtle. Some calls come from private interviews with Priesthood leaders, other calls come as quiet whispers from the spirit calling us to action. Sometimes our invitation will be nothing more than an increased resolve to be righteous, strong and just. It is up to us to follow. We would do well to follow the example of Peter, straightway forsaking all and following Him.

Watch and pray

It surprises me how quickly the suffering in Gethsemane is covered in the gospels. It seems almost before you can begin to ponder the importance it's over and Peter is swinging around that sword. I find myself compelled to read on, I don't know if I just want the end to be over, or if I'm afraid of lingering in the Garden with the suffering Christ.

Jesus' own apostles failed to recognize the importance. Now of course, we see all the signs Jesus gave to them that pointed to his suffering and death. Sometimes it almost seems that the gospel writers emphasize how little the disciples understood. But are we any better? I am guilty of sleeping through scripture study, prayers, church meetings, and other sacred worship meetings. My mind will wander when participating in sacraments.

The atonement has been the subject of countless books, talks, sermons and testimonies. But maybe most importantly, it has been the subject of quiet, intimate, personal worship moments of all true Christians. As relating to the Canon in whole, maybe the Savior wanted the garden to receive a minimal amount of attention. The most sacred experiences we have should be shared sparingly, protected from misuse, and overuse.

Naively I think I expect a deeper discussion, or boldface type, or at least a dedicated chapter to the supernal act that changed the course of all existence.

The unfamiliar and the unbeliever must focus, almost entirely, on Jesus' acts and teachings before they can understand and appreciate what happened on the Mount of Olives. Thankfully the Bible didn't turn out the way I would have written it.


What of the sleeping disciples? How do we open ourselves to temptation when we fail to watch and pray? Wouldn't the disciples have noticed the saviors angst when he spoke to them? At a stone's cast distance, it seems the three chosen apostles would have been able to see the agony, or at least the angel had they been alert. I'm reluctant to believe that the sleep itself is the condemning act (not to excuse myself).

If Christs suffering was infinite and eternal, can't we assume that it extends into each moment, both forward and backward from that night thousands of years ago. Suddenly I imagine the worst moments of my life playing out just yards away from my precious Savior kneeling and begging that I be forgiven for what I am doing. When I let my eyes droop, even though my spirit be willing, if I succumb to the flesh I'm oblivious. Time and time again He comes to me, gently wakes me and asks me to watch just a little longer, and instants later I am back, drowning in my selfish dreams while He goes on without me.

I don't want to be there any more.

Every day it's as if I skim the scriptures and miss the atonement verses, but every day I have the chance to try again. I want to learn to commune, to worship. I want to be able to watch through the hour and see myself as a support to the Savior in His work.

To Stand

Sometimes it seems like being... good or righteous is so hard. It seems like there is a long list of "don't"s that we can't possibly avoid, and a longer list of "do"s that we couldn't even approach accomplishing.

I think some scriptures are there to inspire us with our potential, and some are there to help comfort us in our frailty.

One resonating scripture for me is Ephesians 6.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

To stand. God expects us to battle Satan, in all his forms, but we don't need to make some great showing, we don't need a body count, or proof of ground gained. When it's all done, we just need to be able to stand.

In the story of the prodigal son (sorry to beat this one to death), the Savior says "For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found" And that was worthy of joy and merry making. He doesn't say "this my son is successful," or "accomplished." Alive, found. Those are pretty meager qualifications for bringing our father joy.

"Ask," "knock," "open your ears," "come," "follow." He is willing to do all the work. Behold, I will go before you and be your rearward; I will fight your battles. the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand All He requires are things like faith, trust, hope and humility.

Prodigal Son Contd

I mentioned my previous comment (that the prodigal lost any increase to his inheritance) in a class, and it seemed to have been taken as if he lost his exaltation. I don't see it like that, to me what the faithful gained and what the prodigal lost is what the Lord in the Doctrine and Covenants calls "the drop." To me, exaltation in this story is analogous to coming home to the father's house, both were home. The calf, the robe and the ring, were all just blessings. In this case temporal, in our case many of them would be spiritual.

CS Lewis said:

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. Mere Christianity

I would assume that similarly, greater blessings are allotted to those who withstand temptations.


Another thought came to me during our class discussion when I looked closer at the gifts. The son was destitute, if he couldn't feed himself, he would surely be dressed in rags. His father gave him a cloak and shoes, it was the best cloak, but it was just a cloak. The ring on his finger might not decoration. I don't know much about Jewish history and traditions, but I know in many cultures rings were symbols of the family with crests etc. The father may not have been trying to decorate his son, as much as claim his son. Let the prodigal, and everyone else know, that he would not be received as a mere servant, but he was in fact his father's son and welcome in his house. Since the son was envious of pig feed, he was probably emaciated and malnourished. It may have taken the fatted calf to help restore his son's health.

When we repent, when we turn back to God, even when we are "yet a great way off" He will run to us. He will spiritually cover us, protect us from the rocks and dust and weather we have passed, and will guide us home. He will proudly claim us as His children and he will fill us with the best He has to offer.

It might seem unfair that the newly repented seem to get so much so quickly, just as with the older son. His problem (and our problem) is forgetting our blessings. Elder Holland said,

this dutiful son—and he is wonderfully dutiful—forgets for a moment that he has never had to know filth or despair, fear or self-loathing. He forgets for a moment that every calf on the ranch is already his and so are all the robes in the closet and every ring in the drawer. He forgets for a moment that his faithfulness has been and always will be rewarded.

He hadn't gone naked. His feet hadn't been bruised, torn and battered by walking miles shoeless. He hadn't felt the deep loneliness his brother experienced, not lost his family, friends, wealth and personal identity. While his brother had lost all these things he had been earning more clothes and calves and money and friends.

We might feel a little resentful when someone seems showered in blessings. They may get a close relationship with family members or priesthood leaders. Maybe people go out of their way to befriend them, or they get a calling that we have always wanted. It might seem that they don't deserve the blessings that they are receiving. While it might be true that they didn't work for these blessings, they did pay for the blessings. Pain, sorrow, embarrassments that the faithful, thankfully, don't have to endure.

It usually seems so easy to find things to complain about, but when I really look at my life, I can see that I am blessed so much more than I deserve. Especially when blessings come gradually it can be easy to ignore, forget, or even expect the blessings that we have, so that we don't recognize them as the gifts that they are. Next time I find myself sulking just within earshot of someone else's party, I hope I can quickly check myself and head in singing.