"And now behold, I have somewhat to say concerning the people of Ammon, who, in the beginning, were Lamanites; but ... they had been converted ... They had taken an oath that they never would shed blood more;" -Alma 53:10-11The powerful, familiar story follows that they were willing to literally lay down and die to preserve the covenant. Here is what the Amonites considered worse than death:
"We have been convinced of our sins, and of the many murders which we have committed. ... since it has been all that we could do ... to repent of all our sins ... and to get God to take them away from our hearts ... let us retain our swords that they be not stained with the blood of our brethren; for perhaps, if we should stain our swords again they can no more be washed bright" -Alma 24:9-13(Emphasis mine) The amonites were raised as a violent and bloody people. They were warmongers and cruel, "bloodthirsty." It was a deep part of their culture and their identity. When they repented they abandoned all of that, and they could not return--at any cost. Even when the war was just and righteous, they could not participate. I think the reason is that if they did return to war, even with the right intentions, the habits and tendencies of the past would come back too strong and they would become lost to bloodlust and hatred.
Sometimes when we repent there are things that others can do that we can never do again. There may be movies that we cannot see, events that we cannot attend, or places that we cannot be. Situations that may otherwise be benign we must consider perilous. A former alcoholic is forever a "recovering" alcoholic because just a taste can recreate their addiction.
It must have been heartwrenching to see Nephites dying at the hands of their former brethren in their defense.
"But it came to pass that when they saw the danger, and the many afflictions and tribulations which the Nephites bore for them, they were moved with compassion and were desirous to take up arms in the defence of their country. ... And Helaman feared lest by so doing they should lose their souls" -Alma 53:13-15The Nephites were willing to die so the Amonites wouldn't break their covenant. I'm afraid I fall far short of that. I realized that we have an obligation to support and help others keep, not just the formal covenants, but also personal covenants of righteousness. I think sometimes it is easy to think that someone is being self righteous, 'pious' or over zealous when their rules seem 'above and beyond' established doctrine. I can be opinionated and I fear I may have used my standard to determine the appropriateness of other peoples actions. I may have even tried to convince others to do something they are not comfortable with, because I am. I sorrow at the thought. The next time when someone has a higher standard of Sabbath Day obsevances, entertainment choices, dress standards, spending habits or whatever it may be, I hope they can count on me to be like the Nephites who said: "We will set our armies between ... that we may protect our brethren." -Alma 27/23