the whole armor

I know it has been done a lot, but we talked this Sunday about putting on the armor of God.

I still feel that the most touching, the most heart-wrenching part of the scripture is that we put on the armor that we can "withstand the evil day, having done all, that [we] may be able to stand." I know that there are a lot of important times in our lives when we stand, and I believe that there is probably a deeper meaning in that. But I think of it quite literally and recall times in my life when it was all I could do--in fact it was more than I alone could do and I needed God's help--just to stand. I think that for some of us, and maybe for all of us, when all said and done, the best we can hope for is 'to stand,' and we will know that it is with His help only.

When I think of armor, I actually first imagine medieval armor, and I have to try to force myself to think of period armor... I guess like Roman soldiers

"Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth,"

Truth. Loins. Girt? The imagery I get from that is a belt. I think that girding your loins has a direct connection to the law of chastity, but I think that it also key that your belt surrounds the core of your body, and it holds your weapons and provisions. I think that we need to surround ourselves with truth. It should surround the core of who we are, and we shouldn't ever side-step or back pedal from the truth. If we do so, it will hold things together and support us in our lives.

"Having on the breastplate of righteousness"

Your breastplate protects all of your vital organs, it is the most prominent piece of armor and can be used to distinguish you from your enemies, and even show information about your rank and position. I have heard that in Jesus' day they believed that your thoughts came from your heart, and your emotions came from your bowels, so that would encompass all you think and feel. Righteousness will keep your thoughts and your emotions from becoming tainted. In the most heated of battles you may still be bruised and wounded, but your lifeforce is protected by your righteousness.

"And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace"

I think that this is one of my favorite images. Preparation equals shoes. Your feet are the obvious from of transportation, they are the means of progression. Think of trying to walk through your own backyard barefoot. Can you imagine a battle? When we are barefoot our progress is ginger, cautious, we may take large detours to avoid uncertain terrain and much slower than our potential. When we are unprepared we don't know how to proceed. We test our footing, second guess our approach, and move as on eggshells.

"Above all, taking the shield of faith"

Faith is our protection. When "fiery darts" come at us, whether they be doubts, fears, trials, sins or whatever we can use our faith do deflect them. If we have faith in prayer, we can deal with some times when our prayers appear to have gone unanswered. If we have faith in our leaders, we can just faithfully fulfill assignments as Adam did when he offered sacrifices. Now those darts could also be absorbed by our breastplate, helmet and shoes (and sometimes they will have to be) but faith is our first line of defense and can take the brunt of an attack, while leaving our righteousness, preparation, and understanding of truth remain relatively unhindered. And pure faith can make up for the weaknesses we have or gain.

"And take the helmet of salvation"

As noted above, they didn't really believe that they needed their heads for thinking. Of course they knew that it was vital, but I think that they saw it more in terms of the eyes and the ears, the mouth. Through your eyes and ears you find out about all of your surroundings and identify goals. Your head also directs the rest of your body. So protecting your head with salvation means that you will always have that as your goal. If your head is turned towards salvation, the rest of the body will follow.

"And the sword of the Spirit"

This is when you take the offensive. Actually swords can be used defensively too, but the Spirit is what will make changes in the lives of others. We shouldn't try to overcome people with our righteousness, with our salvation, or with our truth. We should let the Spirit touch the hearts of others. It can and will protect us from the most immediate blows of adversity, but it will be key in making changes with anyone else.

The end from the beginning

It is easy to know the beginning from the end, we can almost always (whether we like it or not) see the progression that brought us to the point where we are, however it is a much different thing to know the end from the beginning.

I thought of an analogy--I had a roommate once who was doing some handyman work and asked me to help him replace some shingles on a small roof over an entryway. He was already on the roof when I got there, and I had to climb a sloped sidewalk to the front entryway. As I started up the slope, I could see him on the roof, and I knew that was the direction I was heading, but I couldn't see the path that would take me there, except for a few steps in front of me.

Once I arrived at the door, I could clearly see the sidewalk, extending all the way to the front of the property. What I think is interesting is that my roommate, from his vantage point could see the whole yard, from his elevated position, he could see the end from the beginning.

Obviously walking up someone's front lawn is trivial, but as we journey through life, we probably won't be able to see our ends from our beginnings. However, we can follow those who have gone before, we can see at least a bit of the path that lies before us, and if we focus on and listen to Those who sit on high, They will direct us to Them.

8 ¶ For my ^athoughts are not ^byour thoughts, neither are your ^cways my ^dways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ^aways ^bhigher than your ways, and my ^cthoughts than your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:8,9

What I learned in primary today:

We taught a six and seven year-old Sunday school class today about the atonement. Part of the lesson is about Alma's repentance, and the lesson brings up a point that I never really thought about before. It says that Alma was forgiven because the savior would later atone for his sins. I started thinking that it would require a whole different kind of faith to take advantage of an atonement that was still yet to happen. We have very powerful and dramatic stories and images to fix on as we ponder and apply the atonement, that might make it easier to understand and accept.

Not to oversimplify, but I tend to think of the atonement in two parts, repenting of our sins, and healing our hearts. When we sin, I think that we experience, even if only "in the least degree" the consequences of our sins, so we have a reference as to what the savior...in any time... would have had to suffer for us, however I think that the healing applications of the atonement would be more difficult to accept.

Think of the ammonites' agony as they think on the murders they committed. How hard would it be to forgive yourself of sins for which you cannot make amends. How would you console yourself with only the assurance that someday, someone, somehow could make that right.

Imagine the angst of a parent who lost a child. It would be so hard to think that anyone could understand their suffering, let alone offer any healing.

The image of God suffering so greatly, that even with an angel at His side He still sweat great drops of blood... when we learn of the brutality of Christ's last few hours on earth and are taught that the physical pain He endured was insignificant compared to His spiritual suffering, I think we obtain that reference and our minds can accept that He has suffered enough that He does have the tools to heal our wounds, to comfort our souls.

Before Christ came the faithful did not have that. I wonder if they didn't have much purer faith than I have, and a much stronger relationship with their Savior. I think at least I am guilty of losing sight of the gratitude I should have that we are living in the fullness of times. I always associated that with priesthoods and ordinances, but I forget what a gift it is to have a fullness of scripture, of knowledge and what a rich legacy we have from millennia of prophets.

God's hand

In Sunday school the teacher accidentally gave out the wrong scripture reference, and I ended up on a page that was slightly out of the lesson. I noticed a passage I had marked while on my mission, and I started thinking about it.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

That has always surprised me. In Nothing doth man offend God more than when we do not confess His hand in all things. It seems like there is so much more we could do that would be so much worse, but I think that since our purpose here is to learn to be like God. Our best chance to do that is to learn who he is and what he does. It can be so difficult to see God's hand in all things. They stopped carrying our favorite salad dressing at Costco; how is God's hand in that? On a bit grander scale, I think we tend to see God in the good things in life, and we blame man for the bad, but I don't think that is fair either. Where is God's hand in a terrorist attack or a high school shooting?

"This is life eternal, to know thee the only true God..." I think in order to gain eternal life, we will need to see God's hand in the mundane and the ordinary. Some get promoted, others get laid off. I don't think we can make blanket statements about how Divine influence affects business, but through the microscope of our own lives, we should be able to see His fingerprints at the scene. I know that one job that I lost directly set me up for where I am now. There was a promotion that I fought for that I am convinced I couldn't do without His help, and the times when I have had to rely on Him has brought me closer to Him.

Often people talk about children growing up being dependent on their parents' testimonies. Lately I have found my thoughts lingering each time someone makes that sort of a reference... I might be misunderstanding their meaning, but it kind of seems that they are discrediting youthful testimonies.

Sometimes almost sounds as if when we grow up we have to stop believing our parents in order to gain a real testimony. I guess that could be true if we simply accept what our parents say and never recognize the spiritual confirmations...or if we don't believe, and we simply go through the motions of membership because of our parents.

As our parents teach us correct principles, the spirit will confirm the truth of what they teach. That will create a real, if simple testimony that has just as much power to direct our lives as a more 'mature' testimony.

For instance, as a young child, I'm sure I didn't understand the principle of tithing. But my parents taught me to set aside a tenth (I'm sure they helped me with the math as well) and I still remember bringing my tithing ($2.87 or whatever it was) to annual tithing settlement with my family. Before I could possibly understand the etymology of the words, I knew that paying my tithing to the bishop made me happy. From that fundamental base, very little has changed.

At some point, I payed my tithing simply because my parents told me to. Eventually I paid my tithing as an expression of gratitude for the blessings I have received and as a contribution toward building and maintaining the physical facilities etc. of the church. Always however I have paid my tithing because I thought it was right and I felt joy in obedience.

I don't believe that we have to abandon, or even question the faith and testimonies of our parents, the Sons of Helaman said, "We do not doubt our mothers knew it" and they demonstrated enormous faith. However, there does have to be a shift--not of faith, but of the source of truth. Initially gospel instruction will come primarily from our parents (as will most information) but as we mature, it will move to scriptures, prophets, inspiration from the spirit and regardless of the source we should come to realize when their teachings stand on their own merit.

Maybe it has been in my head so much because I have become a parent and now for someone I am that first source of truth.

What I now think is important is not just to teach truth--we should be doing that anyway, but we need to help those we teach develop their own testimony early on and recognize the manifestations of the spirit in their lives, so that they don't end up having a spiritual crisis later in their life.

Laman was short

It's been a while since I wrote here. I think I have said that I mostly use my blogs as a way to clear my head, and I got stuck on a concept that I couldn't "clear out" usually when that happens I just have a half-done draft and I can forget about it... but instead it sort-of just drove me away. Anyway, I was talking to a new friend and I remembered one of my long lost thoughts.

Sometimes Laman in Nephi's story seems so unreasonable, it is hard to come to any kind of an understanding. I wonder if that might be because we want to idealize anything in the scriptures. here's my theory.

First, Nephi was big. I think he was really big. He seems to throw in how big he is at unusual times in his narrative. "I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless I was HUGE, and also having great desires to know the mysteries of God..." (Ok, a little artistic license) "And now I, Nephi, being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord, therefore I did seize upon the servant of Laban" --I was really big, oh... and the lord helped me... tackle Zoram.

Now that seems to fit with our common conception of Book of Mormon heroes. Some of the most popular depictions of them show these strapping, clean shaven, tan, muscular, tall, archetypes of heroes. And I don't necessarily doubt that, but what if Laman was really short? Short enough to develop the so-called "short man syndrome"?

To me, that explains a lot about Laman's behavior. If the size difference between him and Nephi was enough to constitute a complex, it would make sense why he was always so defensive about Nephi taking any kind of leadership roles, why he just couldn't accept any criticism from Nephi, and even why he may have needed to use a stick to beat Nephi.

Think of how much we have learned (recently) about how the mind works. If you didn't know about schizophrenia, Tourette's syndrome, Alzheimer's, multiple personality disorder, clinical depression... how would you describe the symptoms? It would seem that these people were possessed. I think that King Saul had bipolar disorder... that is the only thing to me that makes sense. So maybe sometimes when the scriptures say that someone cast out a devil, it could more appropriately say that they healed a schizophrenic?

I wonder how many of our demons will turn out to be something that can be easily treated in the future? Maybe the "addictive personality" eventually will turn out to be an imbalance of dopamine in the amigdala or something.

Anyway, worth a thought no?